Time Has Come....

I've spent a lot of time the last two days at the Hospice House with Rose. When I got there yesterday I was shocked to see her in a different state than she usually is when I come into her room. There was no spirited "Linda!", which is the greeting I always got from her, with her great big smile. For everyone who visited her, there was no doubt that she was delighted to see you. She gave us lovely warm greetings. Yesterday, she could hardly talk, there was a very, very weak "Linda, I don't know what's happened to me, I feel awful all over". She was definitely not herself. Oh, dear....I knew this day would be coming, she moved to this home the beginning of November, but she has been so good, that you find yourself in denial (along with her) that things are going to change for her. You start thinking that life will stay the same, that you can continue the warm, loving visits, but then one day it hits you smack in your face, like yesterday did, that the reason she is in this place is to finish her life. Yesterday, all of us who love her had to face this fact. Yesterday she was still able to talk, but she would sleep, then wake up and talk some.
She said she was looking forward to the Presidental inauguration coming up. I told her that I took Tuesday off, and I would come up and watch the inauguration with her. She was very happy about that. Nancy and I told her that we were planning a birthday party for her (Feb. 3rd she will be 82). We thought it would be good for her to have these things to look forward to.
Today when I went there after church service, I was hoping to see that she had improved. Why did I think that would happen? (well you hear of the "rally", however I guess she already had her rally). Anyhow, I found her more deteriorated today. I stayed with her until the middle of the afternoon, when cousin Nancy came and took over for me. I held her hand and hugged and told her how much we all loved her. I played one of the calming CD's that she likes, I read some Psalms, and prayed. Today she couldn't talk, but she could hear. They have her pretty medicated, to keep her pain free. We are thankful that she is not in pain, but she has moments of anxiety, that you can tell she is distressed. Then the nurse comes and gives her some more medication. The nurses and staff there have been wonderful, they are so experienced with this, and know just what to do and say, and how to help the family understand what is happening. They tell us how much they have been enjoying her, and we know that this is as hard for them as it is for us. They monitor her constantly and tend to her so well. This home is the best place to be for her, I thank the Lord that she is there. She expressed so many times to me, how thankful that she is to be there. AND we are blessed that we have had 2 plus very good months with her. God, I believe has given her and us these two months to visit, and the chance for us to show compassion and love to her and let her know just what she means to us. It has also given us the chance to get to know her even more. We are thankful for the extra time given. Now, we pray for peace and calm for the next step in her life, and strength for us who love her so dearly, to let her go.