Memory of Another Cold January Weekend

When we get cold weather like this in January, it brings back bad memories for me. Memories of a cold weekend just like this one in 1980. When we get cold weather like this, and also, when Rob’s birthday comes I get a terrible pit in my stomach remembering that awful weekend. I also remember it whenever I think that I need to scurry around and go crazy cleaning my house for company and being obsessive over having my house perfect for the company. The memory of that weekend, ALWAYS reminds me that I should not be obsessive over how my house looks, and it helps me to slow down, and remind myself that my house doesn’t have to be a “showcase” and that people are visiting to see us not our house.

That weekend I was preparing for a cousin to come from Pennsylvania to visit me. It was a cold Saturday, temperature below zero and wind chill in the minus twenty’s below. Our Robby, the baby, was a year old that day. We were going to celebrate his birthday the next day when my cousin was here.

My cousin and her 2 year old son were flying in to visit us, while her husband was on business in WI. I was so concerned over impressing my cousin with our house, and wanting it to be just perfect and spotlessly clean! So, I was working like crazy that day. My husband was watching sports, and Dawn and our almost 1 year old son were here, being a 9 year old and a baby. The baby, Robby was in his circular walker, remember those… he was having so much fun in it. My husband had a cup of coffee on the end table, and of course, with as quick as babies are in their walkers, even with both Dad and sister watching out for him, you guessed it. He reached up without either of them noticing (and I was in the hallway, doing of all things…scrubbing the walls! – now WHY did I think I needed to scrub the walls?!) and pulled the coffee cup down, with the hot coffee going over him. We were never so scared in our lives. I took him to the bathtub and ripped off his shirt and doused his shoulder and chest with water, with him screaming the whole time. We got in the car with him, and rushed to the ER at the hospital. I will never forget that ride! We didn’t know there was a “burn unit” at Miller Dwan, so when we went to the ER they wrapped him in ice and had us take him to the Burn Center at the other hospital, which was just a few blocks away.

My cousin flew in the next day, and she and her son spent most of her days here with me in the hospital with our baby, trying to show her around Duluth in between. She couldn’t believe how cold it was and I was too worried over our son to even notice the cold below zero temps we had the whole time she was here! Robby ended up in the burn unit for over 4 weeks, and with the worry that he would have to have skin grafts. Fortunately, as the burns healed, he did not need skin grafts, but he did need to wear a jobst pressure jacket for over a year. It was the worst thing that happened to any of our children, and all three of us, felt responsible for it happening. I made sure to impress on both Bob and Dawn, that the fault was mine. If I had not been so worried about my house being clean and trying to “impress”, it would never have happened!

Let me tell you that was the last time I drove myself crazy over cleaning my house so obsessively for company. I learned my lesson.

My daughter worries about her house being clean and spends a lot of time on it. She told me recently that it is because of me, that she is that way. I couldn’t believe that, but then I thought about how before I had the last two children, I probably was that way. When I think about it now, I do remember spending every Saturday (I worked full time up until we had Rob) cleaning, cleaning, cleaning! I guess maybe she’s right. Sad thing, is that she didn’t notice that after the boys came along, and I’m sure especially after the accident with Robby, that I certainly did ease up on worrying about my house being perfect, and being obsessive over cleaning it.

I now subscribe to the thought that "people come to see us, not the house".