Mother's 80th Birthday Party

A year ago this weekend I was home in East Berlin, PA, to help my family celebrate Mom’s 80th birthday. Feb.12, 1925 was my Mother’s birthday. When I was in school, the date of President Lincoln’s birthday made an impression on us. His birthday was Feb. 12th. This made it really easy to always remember my Mother’s birthday. I used to comment about her being born on Abraham Lincoln’s birthday. I’ve always admired Abraham Lincoln. I am reading a biography of him the last few weeks.

Bob and I had been home to PA in October, especially to visit her and see how she was. She had a hard time adjusting to Dad’s passing. We were concerned about her. We had a wonderful visit with her. I told her I would be home again the following August, for a visit and to attend my 40th H S class reunion. I wasn’t remembering in October that Mom would be 80 in a few short months.

For those of you that don’t know, Mom was at the nursing home in Gettysburg, due to being a double amputee. Her legs had been lost due to diabetes. Her mind was sharp and she was in good health, other than not being able to get around. We tried very hard after losing her second leg, to keep her at home, but due to all the care she needed, we lost that battle. She had adjusted to the home. We heard from other residents and the nurses that she was an inspiration to the other residents, and the nurses all loved her. Until Dad’s death, she had always been cheerful, happy, upbeat and a joy to be around. Losing Dad was hard on her, we saw a change, she seemed withdrawn, and not her usual cheery self. We couldn’t blame her; she lost her love and her partner of 57 years. By December, though, she starting being herself and we were much relieved.

My sister and I got our heads together, via the telephone, and started planning a party to celebrate Mom’s 80th. The 12th fell over a weekend…perfect…My sister told me that I should make plans to come home for the party. At the time it didn’t occur to me that I could go, financially, since I had been home in April for Dad, home in Oct. and planning to go again in August. I told my siblings that I probably wouldn’t come, and I would send the invitations and do what I could from Minnesota for the party.

She was not the type that would insist that I come for the party. When I told her I wouldn’t be there, she understood, and in her usual way, did not complain. We had decided to tell her about the party, rather than have it be a surprise, so she’d have something to look forward to. She was excited about it, and looking forward to seeing her family and friends.

I believe I must have had a “prompting” from above, because one day in January, it just hit me that I really needed to be there for my Mother’s party. I thought about how much it would mean to her to have all her children there. I thought about the uncertainty of life.
There was not a guarantee that she would be there in August, although I was sure she would, because her health was good. I talked to her almost every night on the telephone and she always sounded good. I was confident she’d be around for a long time. It would be fun to be there for the celebration and another visit with Mom. I did book a plane ticket for quick visit for that weekend.

It was a year ago today. The party was great…relatives, neighbors and friends, some that hadn’t seen Mother for awhile, and many that I hadn’t seen in years. Mom was happy, she had a great time and we all had a great day. My only regret now, looking back, is that I didn’t spend more time just sitting by her side that day, as she greeted everyone. Instead, I was busy visiting everyone and enjoying the day as much as Mom. When you live far away and people don’t see you for a long time, it’s very hard not to be in the limelight, and, looking back, I wish that I had stayed by Mom’s side more, and then all the focus could have been on just her. But, hindsight is always better. Mom was never one to want any attention on her, so with Mom and me it was like the song “Wind beneath My Wings”… she was the wind beneath my wings. She was always content to let everyone give me the attention when I was home. We do know that she enjoyed the party. She kept thanking us after, and telling us how much it meant to her. We are thankful that we had the party, and I am thankful that I could be there with her.

That day we would never have thought she wouldn’t be here for her 81st. She had been doing so well. However, within two weeks, she became ill, sent to the hospital, and that was the beginning of her problems. When she came back from the hospital, she never really recovered. I was thinking in early May that I needed to go back home. The early morning hours of May 9th she went on to be with our Dad.

We all think of you everyday, Mom. We wish you a happy birthday today. We love you! We miss you! -- Love, your family

On Mother’s Day, I will write about the inspiration my Mother was to me.