A Stinging Statement

“Your son is like you are; you never want anyone to be mad at you”. What does this statement mean? Is it a bad thing to “not want anyone to be mad or angry with you?”
I took this as a criticism of my son and me. Was the comment meant to be criticism? The person that told me, when I questioned her, told me that she didn’t mean that this was necessarily a bad thing…but didn’t explain any further. I heard this statement last weekend, and the statement has been in my mind ever since. I’ve especially been thinking of it this week, wondering if it is just me, or is it just human that we don’t want people to be mad at us. I know there some people that are naturally able to get along knowing someone doesn’t like them, or is angry with them, but I believe they are the exception to the rule. I think it’s human that we want to please and want to get along with everyone.

My Mother was one that never worried if someone didn’t like her or would be angry at her (though I can never think of anything she ever did that would have made anyone mad), but when I would tell her that someone didn’t like me or was upset with me, her famous saying was “Well, they may be mad now, but they'll get glad again”. She always told me not to worry over it. But I always did.

Once I saw a book titled “The Need to Please”, it was about people that have the need to please others. I didn’t buy the book, but from what I saw of it, it was saying that people that always try to please others, cheat themselves.

I admit it, I hate to have anyone mad at me, I hate if I hurt someone, it makes me feel bad. I go out of my way not to hurt someone or get someone mad at me. I go out of my way to please people. I want to get along with everyone, and yes, it's true, I do want everyone to like me. If not, I try hard to make them like me, I try to get along with everyone. Am I wrong, am I wasting energy? There are others like me, aren’t there? I’m not the only one am I? Was this a bad thing to pass onto my children? What are some of your thoughts on this?