Women Working

Changes over the years: I talked about changes in childbirth procedures. I want to also talk today about the changes I encountered over the years concerning women and work.

Last Saturday we had a brunch at my church, Hope UMC, for women. The program was titled “Working Women – Women Working”. During our time together eating, we were asked at each table to talk amongst ourselves about women and working, by discussing certain questions given us. Then after the discussions at each table we talked about the questions as a group. It was interesting and we had a good discussion. One of the questions to discuss was especially relative to me:
--Whether you have done paid work or not, have you found women supportive of your choices in work? Have women who have made other choices than you been supportive, or only women who made similar choices to you?

I told how I was in two different fields of thought when it came to women working outside of the home, at two different times in my life I found women not supportive of my choice, with two different choices. It is another example of how things change in just a few short years, once again we are talking 9 years, like the 9 years I talked about in my last posting.

When our daughter was 3 months old, I took a job, so that we could make a living. I really didn’t want to, but financially, we needed me to. Everyone I encountered during this time, thought it was just terrible. “How can you leave your baby”, they would say,(even though Bob’s aunt took care of her). They critized me and made me feel low for taking a full time job and “leaving my baby”. When she was about 1 ½ , I quit and stayed home, along with all the other women at home. By then we had our home. It was a wonderful time of my life, spending the day with my toddler and with women in the neighborhood that I became friends with. It's a time that I felt I was supported, now that I was "home" with my child.

When she was almost 3, due to the expenses of living in a home, I found myself looking for and finding full time employment once again. During this time women with children, were still in the minority in the workforce. Once again I got critized and looked down upon because I “chose” to work out of the home. (Even though I didn’t think it was a “choice”, rather a necessity.) Now, I worked at that job for almost 7 years. Guess what happened in the seven years during my work? The paradigm changed. More mothers with children went into the workforce. When I quit and stayed home to have our second child, with no intention of going back into the workforce, guess what everyone told me then, after our second child was born -- “you mean you aren’t going back to work??”, “how can you stay home?”, I was then critized for NOT going to work! Boy, I couldn’t win. Almost all the women in my neighborhood that were home previously, were now employed! Once again, I had no support. That is how things changed in 9 years! I was in the minority during both phases. As a result of my experience, I never, ever judged any Mother for the decision she made either for or against working out of the home. I would tell Mothers with young children, “do what is best for you, because you will get critized no matter what it is you choose to do!”. I stayed home for 14 years after that, raising our daughter and two sons.

I felt so lucky that financially, I was able to stay home. It was the best 14 years of my life. Fortunately, by the time I took a part time job in 1992, not one person said a word or questioned my choice. I don't think it was because the children were older, I think there was another change in thinking by 1992 and also through today, we have Mothers doing both, working, and not working, and no one thinks now, in 2006 to question anyone’s decision one way or another. Thank goodness, Mother’s are no longer being “judged”. We have made progress and I’m so glad that my daughter did not have to go through what I did. I believe her generation gets support from other women, no matter what they choose to do, or have to do. Working women … stay at home Mom’s, the choice is individual… no judgments made …. let’s keep it that way!