Housewarming

All of my readers that are age 40 and up...have you noticed what the newest trend is for our grown children in the year 2006-07? Somewhere around the 80's and 90's we saw more 20 something couples co/habiting without marriage, sharing the rent of an apartment. In the early 2000's we started to see more and more couples buying a home and living together while they were engaged to be married. Now, in the last few years, we see more and more young couples living together without being married and also without being engaged. We now see them buying homes, not just renting. I'm sure it's due to the high cost of rent, especially in Duluth, and low interest rates. O.k., all you babyboomers...are you having a hard time adjusting to new trend. Maybe you are like me, it never bothered me until one our children fell into this trend. Do any of you have children that are living together, not married?

As parents, after our youngest son graduated from college, we had to get used to the idea of him and his girlfriend moving in together in an apartment. That was hard. Even though they were a couple for over 5 years. Even though Bob and I are products of the 60's, it was still hard to accept. Then they talked about buying a house because rent was so high. I think we would have understood then, if they had bought a house that was a fixer upper, to fix up, sell later to make some money to apply toward a newer home. After all, that's what our generation did. These are ambitious kids, they could do that too. A lot of my generation bought a "fixer upper" and actually were able to move into a newer home years later. Not all of my generation moved on, many stayed in the home they bought 30 plus years ago. Bob and I are one of those couples, as my husband is not a "fixer upper", we have to pay to have things done in our home, so therefore, we still live in our "fixer upper", fixed it up as we could afford to over these last 37 years. We never moved on...but we learned a long time ago to be happy with what we had. We decided a long time ago to give up on the idea of ever moving on to a "newer" home.

And, most of our generation have been like us.

Our children's generation, though, are not like their parents. They want everything, and they want it now. What will they want and have to strive for in their life if they get everything they want at age 25?

Our son and his girlfriend of 7 years, did not opt to buy a "fixer upper", they actually went to a contractor and had a home built. I don't understand their thinking that this all needed to be done before an engagement ring was purchased. (I told my son when he told me they were going to build, that he was "putting the cart before the horse". Call me an old fashioned Mother, I guess I just have a hard time understanding the young today. (Oh my gosh, am I starting to sound like my Mother now... ??!!)

I KNOW they are very lucky to have a brand new 3 bedroom home in a nice residential neighborhood. It's a nice home. I am happy for them, don't get me wrong, I don't begrudge them...but I do wish they would be married, or at least engaged. As a Mother, I worry about my son getting hurt maybe somewhere along the line, I know, I know, I have to quit worrying about that. I know too, that this is THEIR business, and I need to keep my opinions and thoughts to myself. I have kept quiet for the last 9 months, but feel the need to vent in writing - maybe then I can finally let it go. I have been trying for a very long time to let it go...he's been out of college for 2 years now (don't worry, they never read my blog).

I just wonder what they have left now, to dream for. The house is built, it's all furnished with brand new furniture, appliances, and everything down to the decorations on the wall, all sodded and landscaped and the deck being built this week, even a fancy mail box, and fall decorations. They have everything they need. What is left to get? I know when they finally do get married, it will be awfully hard for the guests of the wedding to purchase a wedding gift! Of course, that is if they ever do get married. (I talked to a friend last week that I haven't talked to for years, she told me her son and girlfriend have been living together for 11 years, and have a 9 year old son together.) I know, I know, I can just hear all of you readers saying "Linda, you have to give this up, let them be, and don't worry about them"

O.K. O.K. I will keep trying.....